Fear or scared?
I was overwhelmed this week by the writing of many of the amazing people that took me up on this 30 day writing challenge. Honestly, that has taken on a “mind” of its own! I guess I thought on some level people would just check in and say they are on it and how it’s going. But many have decided to share what they are writing with the group. Many of them are fun or even special moments. Recently, there have been so many stories of despair, loss, grief, abuse, neglect and fear. I walked away from the group over whelmed with sadness, tears streaming down my face, wanting to heal their hearts and souls, to comfort their minds.
So many times I read: “remember FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real.” Well, not so much! If you are living the fear of loss, abuse, neglect, lies, secrets, finances- it is REAL. If you are living it by playing it in your mind, recreating the emotions you felt at the time, your body knows no different, it is REAL. No one could tell me that when we almost lost this house a SECOND time (once to a fire) that the fear I had wasn’t real. When I went through overcoming my abuse, I can remember waking up sweaty with fear. If someone had told me that was false evidence appearing real I would have felt even more confused and lost trying to heal myself and find who I am. That FEAR is REAL.
FEAR is real, but as I have said before, are you scared? That to me is the difference between a person that knows their voice and a person that does not. Being scared is a state of “not doing”. Scared comes from lack of movement. Scared is a place where you are paralyzed to make a change about what is happening.
See ,when working though my abuse, I wasn’t scared because I was healing. I felt fear, though. While busting my ass to save this house from foreclosure while my husband has been out of work, I felt a ton of fear. But never scared. I knew I was doing the things I needed to do. I had a plan, I was in movement.
Many people who feel fear then get scared. Next comes stuck. They are doing the things they have always done, over and over. No, that isn’t movement, that is activity. And when you are stuck you question so many parts of who you are. Somehow you start thinking it’s you that is the problem, and lose site of the core part of YOU that will help you through the situation. Each time you are stuck it happens again, more questioning and self-doubt. More loss of who you are.
I am so excited to write more for my book!
Want to read the 30 day challenge series?
Part one Part Two Part Three Part Four Ann M. Evanston is a “Chief Breakthrough Officer” teaching other Business Warriors how to slow down, and find the most unique part of their business that makes them stand out among the crowd. She has been named one of the top marketing consultants by About.com, is a guest blogger for Showcasing Women and takes pride in moving you from “blah, blah, blah” to “BOOM, BOOM. BOOM!”
I had never really thought about the difference between being scared and feeling fear. I believe as human beings we all know what fear is…but you are right, being scared is more descriptive of how we act rather than how we feel. That is probably why there is that old phrase “scared rabbit” — it illustrates how a rabbit when faced with a fearful circumstance, quivers and runs! The questioning and self-doubt can run very deep; courage, I think, comes with a renewal of faith in your value, which many times only happens when you receive encouragement and support from those around you that you trust. I, too, have been very moved by what I am reading here in this 30 day challenge…it hurts to see how many others are hurting, but so uplifting to see the support and the strength and the healing that is happening here. What a miraculous channel of love and support and healing you created here, Ann.
It is so insightful, the description of fear vs. scared. It took me a long time to get out of the scared side of the gear shift inside myself. The transitions I am going through and the shedding of old beliefs, restrictions and silence have been relatively “easy” through the 30 day writing challenge. It is much like Julia Cameron’s Artist Pages, but even more powerful because we are going through it as a group. I can’t say how much I appreciate the opportunity to walk this path with everyone you have brought together. xox
There is one component missing here. When one uses the False evidence appearing real, it does not refer to the emotion of fear itself. It’s referring to our thoughts about the situation that is causing the fear. Fear is an emotion and like all emotions, it can dissipate within 90 seconds if it’s not fed with more thoughts generating more fear. Our emotions are caused by our thoughts and many times our thoughts are not correct, in fact, they are often misleading. I agree with so much of what you’ve said about using that scared feeling to stay in inaction and thus getting stuck. I’m merely suggesting that when fear does arise, question the thoughts that are causing the fear. Our thoughts create all the suffering in the world. We feel hurt because we believe someone has hurt us because we are taking what they said or did personally and then judging the action resulting in an injury to us. And we do all this without input from them except the original action. If we believe that everything that happens to us comes to us for our growth and understanding and to assist in becoming the light needed to transform the world, then all of what happens to us is no mistake. And if all of what happens is no mistake, then we can only really choose how to react to it. Yes, I experienced abuse as a child and for many years, I was a victim and was filled with hatred for my mother. But from years of spiritual study and energy work, I now look at it all with different eyes. I see my mother’s pain and her thoughts about her & her life that she never questioned, believed wholly and did what she did. She truly knew no better and she wasn’t willing to learn either. At times I can get extremely sad thinking about her pain and her feeling of being so totally unloved. I have packed the cars with things that I truly felt were irreplacable, loaded up computer disks for data that might be needed, photos that weren’t digitally stored yet, food for the dogs, my paintings, all in preparation for a potential fire. The fire was visible on the hills 3 streets behind us. I looked in the closet and couldn’t figure out what clothes to take so I took nothing. I did grab any medicines or supplements. I did it all without fear. I didn’t want the house to burn but I had no control over the fire. I became calm. I had fear initially until I questioned my thoughts. We had a plan. I had to trust that all would be okay. We would be alive at least and things are replacable. I chose to put the fear aside because fear doesn’t serve anyone. I surrendered to what was happening. The neighbors were out in the streets, talking, planning, wondering what if. Many had left work to come back to area. We had many anxious hours. We were united though. We didn’t lose the house, in fact, no house was lost. The DC-3’s and the helicopters after several runs had put the fire out. The fire had started over 2 miles away and several hills away and moved fast to be 3 streets behind us. I’m just saying that fear can be stopped by questioning the mind that creates it.
Julieanne CaseAlways from the heart! Blog: http://www.julieannecasefromtheheart.comReconnecting you to your essence, joy, vitality, youth.| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | AgeLoc Skin Care | Pharmanex Supplementswww.thereconnectivehighway.com
Wow, I never thought of it that way. The difference between fear and scared is so well put here Ann. And I then it leads to stuck and the difference between activity and movement. You really blow me away!
Susan Berland
A Picture’s Worth
http://www.susan-berland.com
I have been writing and dealing with fears- financial, self-destruction, and what-if of the future for years now. Constantly being thrust into different situations that appear to be the answer and are not. I have no partner to work this through and few friends I could ask for help. Luckily I have daughters to love their mother. They have helped me stay sane through it all. Finally it is coming to an end and issues are being solved. It is so important to have support that remindes you sometimes daily that you are good and deserving inspite of what is going on around you. Well put Ann. I can imagine how hard it must be to be so intune with your “tribe” and wanting to be there for them all. We support each other that is a good thing.
🙂
I so agree!