Several weeks ago a discussion on one of my pages on facebook, Blogger Monday with Ann Evanston got me thinking. Fear is a feeling but it also creates a physical response, and the physical response can be similar to embarrassment, excitement, chemistry…
Maybe it isn’t fear we feel though? Maybe it’s another trigger that we REALLY need to listen to.
How do you make sure you are not discounting the FLAME as fear?
Ann M. Evanston is a “Chief Breakthrough Officer” teaching other Business Warriors how to slow down, and find the most unique part of their business that makes them stand out among the crowd. She has been named one of the top marketing consultants by About.com, is a guest blogger for Showcasing Women and takes pride in moving you from “blah, blah, blah” to “BOOM, BOOM. BOOM!”
This has been a favorite topic of mine lately as you have seen in my blog! I have DECIDED not to live in fear any more as I have spent too many years giving in to my irrational fears. Obviously there may be some things in life that it is sensible to be fearful of but a lot of the time it's irrational and yes, those feelings are often the flame instead – I love the way you put it. I did my second zipline on Saturday and guess what! I felt 'the flame' but felt it as excitement not fear this time – awesome. I am using this to get over my silly fear of public speaking also. I already no longer fear vlogging and I'm going to get up in front of people and talk whenever I can until all that fear is just the flame. Another timely post!
I like the re-framing of fear as “the flame.” There are actually very few things I'm afraid of…especially those things that come with a safety net. My mind is very logical that way…for example, I wasn't really afraid when I climbed that 100 foot tree because I knew I was on a Belay and couldn't fall. However, now that I think about it…I would likely be afraid of diving off a high rock into the ocean because of the unknown. What is down there? Will I make it? Could that also be what is behind the fear, the unknown?
Isn't this the truth! So often we just automatically name an emotion and then think it is always that. Pausing is such an important step in life in general! So much can happen and change within just a seconds pause before jumping to the conclusion of what that feeling is. I like your choice of the word flame. Works for me…
Great distinction! I've never really thought about the physiological similarities between fear and “the flame”.
However, I'm good at differentiating between the two. But my fears (or anxieties to be exact!) often require a good dose of courage so I can face them and move forward.
I agree, Ann. The somatic anxiety we feel with fear, is often similar to the bodily reaction to success or excitement.
I must admit to being a bit stuck in a “fear state” at moment. Reading blogs (like Louise's) are sparking me to move through it.
Great vlog Ann! I often let fear stop or postpone something I want to do. Next time I'm going to take a step back to determine where those feelings are really coming from.
What a great way to reframe fear–connect it with The Flame and see how the two overlap. This is a topic I love because on The Reflective Writer I encourage people to use writing as a way to explore and discharge feelings. Seems like there could be some good writing around fear/flame and the physical sensations associated with the two. I also really appreciate hearing amazing women talk about how they, too, experience fear sometimes, or something that at least feels like that!
This got me thinking — I will try to pay more attention to what is behind my emotions next time I am feeling “fear”. I think Fear is really prompted by something that threatens our life, our health, our security or our loved ones — something beyond our control. The Flame may be a reaction to something that is outside our norm, challenging, the outcome unknown, but with a possible outcome of success and exhilaration that we really know down deep we can handle and have some control over it if we so choose.
Ann, I'll be sure and check for smoke so that I'll known the difference. Thanks for directing my attention to the need to distinguish between the two.
Great post – perfect timing for me – I think yes, I'm feeling the flame for a new project I'm starting. Thank you!
Brandy Mychals
Split Second Perceptions
Great suggestion to pay attention to your body and to take a closer look at the physical sensation you're experiencing. In either case, fear or flame, it's to feel it and do it anyway.
Thanks always for an enlightening post.
Great post- Over the past couple of years, I've been trying to do exactly what you are suggesting. When that feeling starts, down in the pit of my belly, I try to decide whether it is excitment (your flame) or fear. If it's excitment, I go with it! If it's fear, I try to analyize what is going on. It could be anything from a tennis match to thinking about money. If it is the flame then I will continue to think about it because it will attract more but if it's fear, then I will change my thoughts and it's amazing how quickly that fear feeling dissipates and I can move forward in a more positive way.
Candace Davenport
http://www.ourlittlebooks.com ~ Little Books with a Big Message
I love it !!!
If you are feeling uncomfortable with where you are trying to go that's usually a good sign that you are on the right path. No fear, no flame means you are not pushing yourself.
WOW that was powerful Ann, thank you. I will remember the Flame when I am pushing myself outside my comfort zone.
Fear is definitely a part of ourselves when we are taking risks.
Thanks for the post.