I had an interesting experience when it comes to practicing “givers grow” as a small business owner. I am at a place in my career with the development of things to achieve where I need a coach. This has been something I have thought about doing many times in the past; I just wasn’t ready!
For years, one particular coach has been recommended to me by clients and friends. This woman is obviously smart and savvy and gets results for her customers. Every time I see her at events she tells me I need to achieve this goal for my career, and she’s the one to help me. I look at her website, and I can see that she does EXACTLY what I need. I have talked to her about my struggles and limiting beliefs around this goal at parties and networking events and she always looks at me wide-eyed and says she can’t wait to help me. And I have walked away, not ready.
Recently, I was at a conference and another woman who does the exact same type of work was there. I walked up to this woman’s booth, and we started talking. I shared with her my desire and goal and that I felt like I needed some help. She immediately asked me about five questions and then offered me a “givers grow” idea. She suggested a powerful next step that actually excited me and motivated me and made it easy for me to keep moving forward before I ever considered hiring her.
About an hour later the other woman, whom I’ve known for years, appeared and we started to talk. She knows now that I am trying to achieve this goal in my business. And again, wide eyed, she looked at me and said, “I can’t wait to work with you.”
I have to tell you right now I am more motivated and more excited to give my money to this woman I just met who offered me help without payment over the woman I’ve known for years who I know gets tremendous results. Do you know why?
Do you practice the “givers grow” model in your business? Do you look for ways to offer help to people before they ever pay you? Do you realize that you remain on the hearts and minds of potential customers when you do?
Ann M. Evanston is a “Chief Breakthrough Officer” teaching other Business Warriors how to slow down, and find the most unique part of their business that makes them stand out among the crowd. She has been named one of the top marketing consultants by About.com, is a guest blogger for Showcasing Women and takes pride in moving you from “blah, blah, blah” to “BOOM, BOOM. BOOM!”
When you love what you do and you “know” the true value of it, it’s natural to reach out and share with others. I also find wonderment in making a connection with someone in a moment’s time. It’s profound.
Maureena Bivins, PhD
http://www.maureenabivinsphd.com
Curious, Committed, and Compassionate.
I totally get what your saying and thank you for the reminder, Ann. As I read your experience, I was immediately drawn to your new acquaintance. I can see why you’d prefer her. If you show people you care and are willing to offer something as a gift, they will appreciate that and hold you in greater esteem. Plus, it just feels better, doesn’t it?
Thanks for this powerful story, showing how emotion influences how you made a decision. In my opinion, this is standard procedure for everyone.
People’s decisions are not simply flips of a coin. We don’t decide by cold statistics — “heads” doesn’t come up more than 50% if the face is laughing pleasantly. Instead, we weight most of our decisions by our emotional hunch of what’s to come.
In this case you favor the woman who generously gives you a valuable sample, hoping to impress you with her expertise and suggesting this is just the beginning of how she’ll help you. Compared with “”I can’t wait to work with you”, this generous offer creates the stronger emotion response in you. And it’s doubly effective because it coincides with your own belief that “givers gain”.
The story illustrates a good lesson for us, about the benefits of “paying it forward”. Good one.
INSPIRING story, Ann and one that so proves your point. Plus Like attracts Like! You so deserve this gifting from a giver when you are so consistently doing this for others. I have total faith that you will expand and grow and THRIVE immeasurably regardless of who you choose to work with. Thank you for this and I look forward seeing where your path leads you next.
That is a great mind set.
I must step back a second and also say, I can relate to struggling with beliefs. I have some things I do which give me some nice momentum, and I find I need to maintain it, or else my mind loves to slide backwards into doubt…FAST!!
That’s a great concept, and I enjoyed reading about and somewhat feeling your enthusiasm and excitement.
All the best with whatever this venture of yours entails!
Thinking this way can completely change our mindsets when we offer ‘initial consultation free’. It moves it from an obligation to an opportunity. Thanks!
Giving first is built into my company’s business process but as I have been exposed to a few teachers (including yourself) recently, I realize and am better at ‘giving on the spot’. Still need improvement in that arena but WAY better than what I was a couple of years ago. Thanks Ann!
This post really speaks to me for two reasons–first, I love being freed up to “give” — it’s the best way to connect with people and show myself; and second, because I am also considering getting a coach! Your story really resonates about connecting, finding the right person, feeling motivated, etc. This post gives me a lot of great energy.
I so get this. Today I was at an event and many were curious about Reconnective Healing. One person came up to me after the meeting to talk about his wife and her problem. I gave him a suggestion to tell her that would help her to begin a self healing process. I’ve done this before. Some are open to trying it and some not. It’s always their choice.
Julieanne Case
Always from the heart!
Reconnecting you to your Original Blueprint, Your Essence, Your Joy| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | The Reconnection| AgeLoc Skin Care | Pharmanex Supplements
http://thereconnectivehighway.com
How I’ve struggled with the concept of a coach. I’ve talked to them, listened to them, even tried one one time and like you, I wasn’t ready. You’ve hit the target with struggles and limiting beliefs and also the fact that you really have to “connect” with the person…especially if you are going to trust them not only with your money but with your future goals. Obviously for you, even thought you know that other woman was great and would probably have been fine, you were looking for more than fine- you wanted connection! Since you build connections yourself with a givers grow philosophy, the second woman connected with you. Great!
Candace Davenport
http://www.ourlittlebooks.com ~ Little Books with a Big Message
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve had the very situation you describe happen – with more traditional coaches, with virtual assistants, with potential JV partners. And, the ones I am drawn to, the ones that really connect are the ones that are willing to have a dialogue and an exchange of ideas. As flattering as it is to have someone say they can’t wait to work with you, the real proof for me is when they actually start to do that in the moment. They don’t wait for your money or your commitment. They want to help you – because that’s what givers do. And, ultimately, when you do hire them, you will get so much more in the process because this philosphy is part of everything they do.
I love this @annevanston…1) for you showing your vulnerability and 2) for modeling behaviors and actions that we who follow you benefit from. It’s definitely easier to give my money and trust to someone who has demonstrated a giving attitude.
This reminds me of earlier in the year when I first thought about hiring a paid coach – when I realized I knew nothing about running a business after I licensed my SNCC site lol. I decided I wanted someone local so I could actually see them in person and one person at first stood out. She however just told me I needed her and that everyone should pay a coach. The person I hired, however, gave me a ton of steps that I could use immediately and then asked if I felt we were a good fit. I loved her for that. I didn’t feel pushed, I felt she was more than happy to give me the help and had no attachment to the outcome. Her generosity continues as our relationship grows (as does yours but we have a different relationship than a paid business coach). I sometimes feel I give too much away but it works for me. I have given to people and they have come back weeks later and decided to hire me. I don’t like feeling like a taker – I am happy to use the givers grow model.
Louise Edington
Breaking Through Online Frontiers
http://louiseedington.com
Great story Ann 🙂 I tell this to my clients all the time…when I built my waiting-list coaching practice a big piece of it was giving out free advice that was totally based on what the person in front of me needed – without any thought to whether or not they wanted to hire me. Each person was happy for the thoughtful advice (given with permission). Some I never saw again and many insisted they needed to work with me…it was a “feel-good” and inspired model for all involved…no pressure and no “salesy” tactics. Love that you put it into words! Brandy 🙂