I wrote a blog about Influence and quoted Chris Brogran and stumbled upon it today. As I read it I realized I recently learned this lesson the hard way.
Brian Tracy talks about the “Law of Unintended Consequences.” As a coach leading other coaches I completely backed away from all my own networking. My intention, my goal in doing so, was to allow them to step into the light, to grow and be seen. I truly thought I was doing something good. But my unintended consequence was that I was no longer relevant, my tribe thought I no longer cared. I failed to stay present.
By failing to stay present, to meet new people to introduce to my tribe, I also lost my Influence Factor. This is a devastating reality for someone who does it so naturally. I am committed to, and working hard to get it back. I will never make this mistake again.
What am I doing to remain present and relevant?
1- I joined networking group, and have been consistently committed to showing up EVERY week since, Jan 1st. I do this regardless of my schedule, how much I need to get done, and how overwhelmed I might feel.
2- I have also committed to one in person meeting for an hour with 1 to 3 people every week that are new to my circle and life. My goal is to build relationship, and truly listen.
3- I am setting a minimum of 2 30 minute 1:1 phone calls a week with someone I have “met” recently in person, or online.
4- I am reconnecting with my tribe, participating in their lives and successes, and sharing in their celebrations.
5- I am having more fun in my social media company participating with facebook fans on my page.
Chris Brogan’s quote is a powerful one, one I will never forget. One I will be sure to balance with serving others and taking care of myself. I don’t care what you do as a career, this ability to know people, to build your network is critical to having influence. SOME selfishness is critical, because it strengthens what you have to give. Without it, who will you influence? Yourself?
Ann M. Evanston is a “Chief Breakthrough Officer” teaching other Business Warriors how to slow down, and find the most unique part of their business that makes them stand out among the crowd. She has been named one of the top marketing consultants by About.com, is a guest blogger for Showcasing Women and takes pride in moving you from “blah, blah, blah” to “BOOM, BOOM. BOOM!”
I love this tenderness and vulnerability of this post. As someone who frequently has been more focused on letting my students and clients shine and backed away from my own light, I am inspired by your consciousness, intention and awareness of your impact. I absolutely believe what I know you already know, that as you continue to grow your tribe, you will not only go to your next level, but everyone else will benefit as well.
I take your commitments as an example as I set my time priorities for my next few months.
Thanks @vickidellojoio:twitter for this. It is very true that what we feel is right might not always be best. For everyone involved!
Yes! Leading by example is also part of this. Networking is so important to building relationships not just business and if people never see you they are missing out on your shine and your spark. Great observation and I like how you evaluated and set a plan in action. Helps me see how that works. I learn by watching more than any other way. Thanks for sharing this Ann!
I really admire how you take the time to re-assess and see where you’re at and why. It’s such an important part to being successful, both professionally and personally. You often talk and teach about being a giver, but your actions prove you’re a firm believer in being a doer. Don’t just talk about it, do it! I love that.
-Cory Zacker
http://www.mosaictutoring.com
thank you so much @mosiactutoring:twitter I really do try and LEARN from everything!
I love that you shared a misstep and that you learned from it. It reinforces that you are human, that you are like the rest of us and you showed us what to do to correct the situation. I love that you engaging with us again. I love it and you!
Julieanne Case
Always from the heart!
Reconnecting you to your Original Blueprint, Your Essence, Your Joy| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | The Reconnection| Reconnective Art
|http://thereconnectivehighway.com
You hugs is felt through this post @julieannecase:twitter I am honored to know you!
Thanks for this thoughtful post, describing an unexpected problem and the specific steps you’re taking to remedy it. Your story conjures up two images for me:
First, the Pendulum. Some time after you “pulled back”, you realized you’d gone too far, so you’re compensating toward a better balance of “being present” and “letting go”. The odds favor that you’re over-compensating now, and that your circumstances will continue to change, so one of these days you’ll rebalance again. This sequence happens all the time.
Some consequences of each swing may be unintended, but it’s surely predictable they’ll occur. Little by little, these approximations bring us ever closer to the ideal balance for Influence, or whatever else we’re working on.
The second image is the Well. The deeper I dig it, the more it can hold. In my experience, the more I’m “present”, the more I CAN be present. In the specific case of my band, the more each of us is featured in a spotlight, the more we ALL benefit.
Question: You call developing your capabilities for Influence “selfishness”, but to me that word smacks of greed and conceit. How about calling it “self-improvement”, instead?
Robbie thank you for your thoughtful insights. to your question, I think value placed on a word is always so interesting. Jen Duchene’s best selling book is all about being more selfish! The word is about concern for ones self, and this post is about the fact that I no longer had any (to your pendulum point).
I’m quite touched by this post, your reflection and self-awareness and the fact that you shared this with us. In fact, as I read it, I realized it matched an awareness I had in the back of my mind. I had been noticing that others were doing more work “out front,” and I also had observed that you were commenting suddenly on several pages and here on the blogs (which of course is wonderful!) So the whole story fits, and of course it’s inspiring to see how action-focused you are to change things!
I like Robbie’s comment about the pendulum. I think that can happen in any part of our businesses (or lives) in a variety of ways. Your experience is one example of this – and one in which I could easily see myself late last year. What you did that I failed to do – until now! – was to not just recognize the issue but to put concrete steps into place to remedy it.
Jennifer Peek | Left-Brained Strategist for Right-Brained Business Owners
Find Your New Groove
The Freedom to Build Your Business Your Way
I so appreciate your sharing Jennifer! Knowing that others have experienced something like this is nice to know!
Ann – Balancing all the networking is an interesting challenge for me. I’m an introvert, so I know that one-on-one conversations work better for me than events with lots of people, conferences, for example. Facebook and Twitter have allowed me to meet so many interesting people that I would not have met otherwise.
Christie, I am extremely shy, so groups are hard for me too, I have found that its about finding the right group, where I feel safe, and it aligns with my values that matter. I’m still uncomfortable every week I walk in there but these things make it easier!
I love the strategy that you have set in place and it’s similar to what I’m hoping to begin doing. I’ve attended regular networking events in the past, but my follow-up has been iffy at best. I like the commitment to sit down and truly get to know people and build relationships. That’s the part I struggle with in my industry, as we are constantly told it’s a numbers game and just keep working people through the funnel. Limited time, plus a me who takes longer to build trust and relationships, I’m not a “large numbers” type of gal. For me, I’m trying to balance getting people “through the funnel” and building lasting relationships with those who resonate with me. As my life tends to work in themes, it’s only fitting that you’ve written about this as I am getting ready for an intimate full-day event with someone who is amazing at connecting next weekend. I do very well at the everyday social stuff, but connecting on a deeper level is not something I do as easily with many people.
Good luck this weekend Brenda! And trust your gut, what it is telling you is authentic, and will work!
There was a point at which I wondered where you were. Glad you’re back. Thanks for the lesson.
Effective networking
is all about building relationships. Successful businesspeople
understand that networking and relationship marketing are more about farming than they are about hunting. It’s about building
long-lasting connections with other professionals.
I like how specific your actions are, like Cheryl I appreciate you sharing your plan. Follow up is the part that I neglect and it is very important.
Very good points. Being relevant and involved gives you more leverage to bring people to your coaches. It’s what you teach, isn’t it? Walk the talk. Glad you’re back in the game with in person networking. I might even get to see you in person on occasion!
Susan Berland
http://susan-berland.com
Oh Susan, please understand this had nothing to do with who you might be thinking about,it has everything to do with me and MY clients. Unfrotunately, many of my clients chose not to talk to me and just believed what they were hearing. Which I own, because I had disengaged, and therefore was not relevant to the people that mattered any longer. I will never make that mistake again.
I too made a commitment to at least 1 one on one meeting with this year. It has been going great/ It is actually re-energzing me AND my business.
Yvonne Elm Hall
http://www.yvonneelmhall.com
I love how honest and genuine you are here. Thanks for modeling the art of being selfless within community
Ah those unintended consequences for living our lives. They do catch up with us. I recently had to back off of a commitment because the unintended consequence was less than 100% to the commitment because I split in too many directions. I’m ok with that although I did struggle with disappointment, mostly my own.
Sue Bock
http://courageotadventurecoaching.wordpress.com
Remaining Present and Relevant……thanks for the priceless example you are setting!
I will look forward to “seeing you” pop up again Ann. Some of the best people I have met through you and your groups/classes. I personally learned all I know about Social Media through you, and with the recent changes in Facebook Timeline for biz pages and the addition of Pinterest I feel like I could use a refresher course. Are you having any? Like a one day refresher. I personally would like to know this. How are the different sites shaking out; with almost 3million followers on pinterest, how can I monitize that; what are the alternatives with the facebook biz page changes; And how is google+ shaking out? How about it…a refresher course for all your “older” followers?
Thanks for your post and sharing the specific steps you are taking. It is a helpful reminder to me that I need to focus on building relationships as I forge ahead in a new direction with my business –so you’ve given me some inspiration on how to approach it. :-). I must say I’m surprised to hear you say you are shy around groups!
Very interesting. I guess I felt the captain of the ship wasn’t at the helm. Not sure of the direction. Lessons everywhere. We all have our own. Glad you set such a good example on how to learn from your lessons!
Julieanne Case
Always from the heart!
Reconnecting you to your Original Blueprint, Your Essence, Your Joy| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | The Reconnection| Reconnective Art |
http://thereconnectivehighway.com