by Ann Evanston | Oct 29, 2017 | Intimacy, Relationship
My husband and I have a relationship that many admire. To see us, you know we are deeply, and intimately in love. You know I am “Bonnie” to his “Clyde.” We are often told by people who see many couples that we are they one they appreciate the most. Simply because of how we treat each other. (Yes, sad to hear stories of lack of love and respect in public!)
We aren’t perfect! That’s not real. We fight. Like ugly when it happens. And in 20 years we have had low, low times of hurt.
We believe in commitment and working through everything. And we know one thing to be true to have an intimate, deep, loving relationship.
You must be vulnerable and express emotion to truly find love. You must express it ALL. You must also allow your partner the same. We truly learned how to do this at a low, low point. We had to find a safe space to ask and answer honestly. A place where we wouldn’t start fighting!
If you don’t have intimate love yet, you still have to be vulnerable enough to express love. To be love. That’s how you receive love. That’s how intimate love happens.
[Tweet “You have to be vulnerable enough to express love. To be love. That’s how you receive love.”]
by Ann Evanston | Oct 27, 2017 | Vision Values Purpose
It’s not enough to “know”your vision. Making it happen is something else! And I promised I’d share a few weeks ago didn’t I? OK so let’s talk about a tradition we have in our home that has allowed our vision to come to life.
New Year’s Eve is a lock down in our home! We have a tradition, my husband starts buying growers Champagne in October so that we have plenty to drink over the holiday. I cook filet mignon, and shuck a ton of Dungeoness crab with butter and lemon. We feast and drink amazing champagne!
That night though is also committed to our vision, goals, and values. Separately, we go through magazines and books and think about what is the next level vision of our lives. Then once we feel complete individually, we share it with each other and have a conversation about how that will align as a family.
Then we create a family vision board. Not uncommon from what you might have seen other people do. Lastly though, we pick a value that we will live by throughout the year. This value is how we will make decisions towards achieving our vision. It is a daily guiding principle that ensures that we are thinking about that vision and aligning our choices to it every day.
After sharing this with many clients over the years, they’ve gone back to their lives and children and created a similar tradition and vision activity. (OK, maybe not Champagne with the kids, but you get what I mean! LOL) They have reported that they feel more connected, grounded, and aligned to what they really want in their lives.
SoMe: A powerful vision is tied to a guiding value that creates conscious change.
by Ann Evanston | Oct 25, 2017 | Business Strategy, Personal Power, Speaking Strategy
Recently I had the opportunity to teach my Influential Voice course to a group of higher level corporate leaders. It was a great cross-section of different types of industries and backgrounds. I love when people with years of experience still want to learn!
In this program one of the things we cover is the power of using stories to inspire groups of people. I have a simple storytelling method I teach, and they get several times to practice and get feedback in front of everyone.
One participant is a securities software professional. His work is very technical! And here I am asking him to tell stories that increase vulnerability and connect people emotionally. That’s how we create buy-in and yes in others. He wholeheartedly embraced the challenge!
As we started practicing our stories, he revealed that his degree was actually in marine biology. And throughout the class he told these amazing stories and adventures in college and just out …. all related to marine life. He fully engaged the listeners sensory experience!
Better yet? He was 100% able to take those personal stories and relate them back to a point he would want to make to a team at work.
[Tweet “Your Personal stories allow others to know, like, and trust you!”]
Ultimately, that’s a key to a great story. You allow us to learn about you, which means we know like and trust you more, and you create a teachable moment or powerful point so we know why it matters.
Often people tell me they have no stories to share. Every day something happens where you can create a relatable story. Just look at how this man was able to take marine biology and related to a security software team!
by Ann Evanston | Oct 22, 2017 | Relationship
Often, when wanting a strong, loving, intimate mate, we look outward. We create that “list” of traits and characteristics they must possess. We even write out the deal breakers!
Most those things aren’t what makes a great relationship. Ok, yes, I have a deal breaker…smoking…..could NOT be with a smoker, lol! But height, education, family background – just don’t create a dream relationship.
Because having that is about you. Yes, I said it. It isn’t about finding the best partner….it is about being one. How do you show up everyday full of love, gratitude, and appreciation? How are you a better listener, cheerleader and comfort? How will you be vulnerable, open, sensual and up-level yourself?
Everyday. For your relationship.
When you lead what you want, you get it. You attract someone who does the same for you.
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by Ann Evanston | Oct 21, 2017 | Relationship, Self-worth
The peaceful protest #MeToo has been quite eye opening, and for me, so sad. I knew sexual abuse was a dark secret in our country, but harassment? This much? Horrible.
It has been beautiful to see women have a voice, not be afraid to speak up and share: “yes, me too. It happened to me.” Whether quietly or loudly.
It is connecting heart strings that strengthen us as women. Collectively.
While teaching one of my Influential Voice courses during this time, it came up in class. Many participants felt the same way. Then a gentleman in the program said: “it has created an awareness for me too and things I might say that I no longer want to.”
I asked if he’d share.
“I don’t think I have harassed a woman, but I might have said things that could be offensive. For example, I caught myself starting to say: ‘that’s not ladylike.’”
This led to a discussion of what we may say to men too. Inspiring.
How powerful if one simple movement moves even one person to changing how they speak to women.
