by Ann Evanston | Feb 13, 2018 | Personal Power
I have learned that when I am emotionally raw the best thing I can do is to feel what I am feeling in healthy and loving ways. Often, because women are told they are too emotional, we stuff what we are feeling. It’s like we push it down as far as we can and put a lid on it. Over time, we completely lose our heart. We end up all in our head and unaware of what we’re feeling anymore.
When you are emotionally raw it’s an opportunity to learn how to be better in touch with your heart, soul and spirit. I am emotionally raw after my Women’s Self-Love Evolution Retreat. I hold this huge container for women to learn about themselves and at the end of it my emotional exhaustion is overwhelming.
And when I am like that, I am going to allow myself to feel it. It’s easy to want to get rid of it, stuff it, because it is SO overwhelming. There’s a difference between expressing it in an overly emotional way and feeling what you’re feeling. That’s where I go- the latter. By feeling what you’re feeling you are better able to increase the connection to your heart. By feeling what you’re feeling you are better able to tap into your own joy. By feeling what you’re feeling you’re able to create an expression of self love.
By feeling, I find that my expression is appropriate. Sometime we cannot be alone when it’s happening! But if I try and control it, others see a wreck. Or someone on guard. Or even an angry woman.
by Ann Evanston | Feb 11, 2018 | Boundaries
It is one thing to know what your boundaries are. It’s important to know what your boundaries are. But setting healthy boundaries doesn’t start with that. You can know every boundary you want, and if you don’t have this one thing, having healthy ones will be difficult.
The one thing needed to have healthy boundaries in your relationships is self worth. Self-worth is different from self-esteem. It is about knowing your value, for yourself as well as in relationships you have.
It is very difficult to request that someone keep a boundary if you don’t see yourself as priceless. Worthy. Often, we place others value above ours. Somehow they become first.
by Ann Evanston | Feb 10, 2018 | Self-worth
In my book, The Influence Factor, I speak to an essential element regarding “knowing your truth.” It is so important that were able to look back at stories in our lives and how we allow other peoples versions of life to become ours. On a deep psychological level, we can embed them as our truth, without recognizing it is happening.
I remember at my Women’s Self-Love Evolution Retreat discussing relationships. The beautiful thing about the women who join me as we create a space where judgment isn’t necessary. This allows us to discuss stories, and change them.
So in discussion we learned that many of us has a different “type” of intimate relationship or partnership, from the traditional story we are told as girls. I shared that it’s really important to know your truth about the kind of relationship that matters to you. Too often we as women are told that getting married and having babies is the right adult relationship. Too often we as women are told that if we don’t do that that there must be something wrong with us.
This was freeing for other women to think that they can write their own.
Who’s story are you hanging onto? Is it really yours? Did you have a negative experience that you converted into a truth and now it keeps happening in your life? Have you asked yourself if this is what you want for you?
Career choices, body image, even your own self love. I even just rewrote a story about “girls are mean!” My first tip with clients is asking them to sit down and draw out the timeline. By doing so you can reflect on where those truths might be coming from. The next step is the harder part. You have to change the story. And that begins by knowing what YOU really want.
by Ann Evanston | Feb 4, 2018 | Relationship, Self-worth
Love is a choice you can choose to love and be loved. To be a loving person. Love requires you make choices. The choice to be committed. To communicate. To be vulnerable. To sacrifice emotional safety.
Oh shit.
Yes, the greatest love is experienced when you risk being hurt. Betrayed. Let down. Disappointed.
Well fuck, THAT doesn’t sound like love.
It is. The more we guard and protect our hearts the harder it is to open up to love. Even receiving it.
I know some of you are saying: “ I will Ann, I am ready. When the RIGHT GUY comes along. The perfect guy.”
He doesn’t exist. No, Earl isn’t perfect! That’s also why I say find happy and then choose to love. ❤️
by Ann Evanston | Feb 3, 2018 | Self-worth, Vision Values Purpose
Have you learned to love yourself enough to find your face, hands, feet, ah…your NAKED body….beautiful? Sexy? Strong? Powerful? A temple?
Are you proud of your curves, bumps, lines and wrinkles? Your color and tone, your hair and freckles? Have you taken the time to undress, completely, in the light, and LOOK at your body with love and acceptance?
I work VERY hard on this. Being raised by a culture that thinks skinny and big boobs is beautiful, I thought that was the deal. Well, I am not that. Big boobs, yes, lol, but there’s way more to my body. I admire my sister and aunties and the culture I married into. They love their bodies, all shapes and sizes. And they show it off!
And no, a woman isn’t wounded when she shows off her body…she just loves it! And that strengthens self-love.
