by Ann Evanston | Jun 7, 2017 | Business Strategy
I recently had one of the worst things that can happen in your network. Happen to me!
I had a long time business partner and now lifelong friend over for dinner recently. We talked all kinds of fun in the garden over a glass of wine. I made a great dinner, continuing the conversation with our meal.
Of course we at some point discussed our businesses…how are things, what are you working on, and excited about. And then the worst thing happened! It was so bad it didn’t even dawn on me how bad until a few days later!
She said: “well, most people I know can’t afford you.”
It isn’t the worst thing because it may be true. It’s the worst thing because she is making that decision FOR THEM. In your network you need people who believe in what you do, refer people, and allow them to decide for themselves. You need people that believe in you and don’t worry about your prices.
Please don’t pre-qualify people. It is not a waste of my time to have the conversation with someone and see if we are a right fit.
[Tweet “In your network you need people who believe in what you do, refer people, and allow them to decide for themselves”]
by Ann Evanston | Jun 6, 2017 | Mental Mind Shifts, Self-worth, Uncategorized
Bragging. That word gets such a strong reaction from many women I know. Somehow it has become bad to brag….especially when I speak with women. Ok, ok, I know, the definition of the word doesn’t seem positive. At the same time, the importance of doing what the word is asking of us is very important for our success and career goals.
I was once teaching a women’s conference where participants were asked to share one personal and one professional achievement. Many women struggled, the most common achievement was the same, safe wheel house. My kids, my degree. ( If I asked, could you brag about something not related to your kids or schooling?)
One woman actually said she could not do the activity. When encouraged, she started to cry.
Both are examples of having a negative mindset about self-promotion…..bragging.
It’s time to change our mindset about bragging. Why?
🏼 you cannot assume people know
🏼 you want people to be aware of your achievements and accomplishments
🏼 just putting your head down hoping to be recognized won’t work long term
🏼 by sharing you attract more opportunity and successes in you life and career
[Tweet “Own your accomplishments! Speak up and share.”]
So how can you embrace bragging positively?
- Change the word: proclaim, proud, speak up, sell (oh that one scares you? LOL), publicize, qualify, “own it”!
- Build self-worth: when you speak of yourself confidently, and share, others view you in high regard.
by Ann Evanston | Jun 3, 2017 | Self-worth
Can you receive a compliment? I mean, truly and deeply receive a compliment. Absorb it. Feel it. Most women, if truthful, struggle with this. I find there are 3 signs that receiving a compliment is difficult. You immediately:
1-give a compliment back to the person.
2-say thanks almost pushing the energy back at them
3- say thank you then rationalize why it really isn’t true…you say: “this old thing?” Or, “I could loose some weight.” Or “I couldn’t have don’t it without.” You get it!
Saying thank you and truly accepting and receiving a compliment requires a pause. It’s a pause to deeply hear what they said. To look into their eyes. Breathe and take it in. And after you do that simply, and beautifully say thank you.
This is easy to do as you build you self-worth, harder if you struggle with that value. Keep trying it though. Start with receiving compliments from yourself. Practice the “I like you” technique from my book.
by Ann Evanston | Jun 2, 2017 | Influence Factor, Speaking Strategy, Uncategorized
I think as speakers, our being open to the diversity of style is so important. I started speaking in the 1990s when the majority of speakers were white males, over 50 in blue suits. I was actually TOLD : “if you want to be successful you will wear a suit, with hose, and closed toed shoes. And do something with that hair.”
That’s totally unacceptable. The greatest speakers come from a real space. When I converted to my kick ass high heels, jeans and tank tops on stage everything changed for me. When I wasn’t afraid to let a swear word (or three) slip, greater audience connection happened!
I also remember an NSA phase. Every speaker had an acronym that became their motivational speech, and they all had the same business card design and presentation style.
That becomes inauthentic. If it isn’t you, why do it…audiences saw through it, and it got tired fast. Some speakers are now even afraid to call themselves motivational after that!
[Tweet “If it isn’t you, it becomes inauthentic and others see through it.”]
Our world, especially with our young people, has drastically changed. How they speak, and how certain words can take back power, especially swear words are not dirty anymore. Hell yes!
I am thrilled that I am surrounded with a bunch of open, diverse, dynamic event planners and speakers that embrace all differences and styles. Wow, that’s an amazing place to be! Do you embrace diversity when you see speakers, or have judgement on “what’s professional?”
by Ann Evanston | May 31, 2017 | Influence Factor, Mental Mind Shifts, Relationship
The first step of truly becoming influential is to build and nurture your network. The specific challenge for women has to do with how we believe a network is based on deep knowledge of the other person, almost intimacy. In many ways we feel if we don’t know the person very well, and can speak and vouch for them personally, we cannot consider them part of our network.
From an influencing standpoint this does more damage than good. It limits our abilities: to:
be visible
demonstrate credibility
know experts that can solve a problem
build value through wide networks
increase opportunities
McKenzsey and Company did a study on how women successful women thrive. They found that women who understand that broader and more shallow networks are far superior actually increase opportunities and success.
[Tweet “Women who build broader, more shallow networks increase opportunities and success!”]
So what is the goal for women? To let go of the desire to know each person intimately in your network. That’s relationship building, which is a different strategy, for different reasons. This means find a memorable connection quickly with a person, and then practice a “keep in touch” mindset!
