One of the most powerful things to work on in developing self-worth, is
understanding the power of the word NO. Initially that may seem so obvious
and simple, yet often people cannot just say NO because they’re afraid of
how people will feel if they do.
Let me give an example:
Recently, I asked someone who seems to be a fan of mine (that might be just
my perception LOL) to attend an event I have coming up. I let her know about
the affordability of the tickets at that time, and sent her a personal email.
What I got back was a NO. Well, not really. What I got back was a long-winded excuse.
The funny thing is that everybody has excuses. And reality is if you really
want what’s being offered, you figure out a way. We all know that. Ever
really liked someone and were determined to try to spend time with them? Of
course! You figured out a way.
But I digress, this is about saying NO. When you have self-worth, the
ability to say NO is simple. The response is simply thank you. Or, “no I
appreciate the offer though.”
Heck, you could even leave the NO off the last
one! The point is, when you start to explain away why you’re saying no,
you’re actually internally fearful that the person is going to judge you, or
not be happy, or not like you. You’re afraid of some ramifications that you
are placing on that that aren’t necessary.
So practice the word NO. It’s okay, people like you even when you say NO.
Say it with confidence!
Transcendence is an important part of success. It’s about getting to the next level and not reverting back to old habits. It’s about realizing you are truly ready. It is ultimately about NEVER going back. One of the things that I work on and MasterMind with my clients is how to transcend from the head to the heart. Most people think the head is a good thing! And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be smart, and savvy and an expert at what you do! That’s GREAT “head” stuff. I am saying there are parts of your mind that stop next level success.
What I am saying is that your heart holds the power to get you to where you truly want to be. It’s time to get out of your head and into your heart if you truly want to transcend. I’m sure you have heard people say “listen to your heart and decide.” Heck, I say it all the time!
See, your head will replay old stories that keep you stuck. Your heart will forgive you and move on.
Your head worries. Your heart finds peace.
Your head debates the issues. Your heart says this is the right choice.
Your head talks you out of things. Your heart enlightens you to the path.
Your head disconnects. Your heart engages.
This was one of the most important and pivotal steps toward my ability to transcend and never go back to habits and ways that stopped me. It will be for you as well. You have to tell your mind to get out of your way! Breathe deeply, close the brain, and feel your heart. It will never steer you wrong.
Self-worth comes from being sure of you! I know, that sounds silly, yet it’s the first basic step of truly seeing how infinite and great you are. You must be sure of you. Sure of your thoughts and feelings. Sure of your abilities. Sure of your decisions and choices.
I frequently see people who are not sure. They need someone else to be sure of them, or for them, of their decisions or even their abilities.
They need someone else to be sure so when it goes badly, there’s somebody
else to blame.
Both scenarios above are what I call “other” worth. Needing another to be sure.
See, only you can be sure of YOU. Nothing else. Just you. And with that comes success.
I was recently speaking in San Francisco and, because I live locally, I
always take the BART into the city. At the end of a very long day I headed
onto the platform to wait for the train with the crowd. As you can imagine,
the train cars are even more crowded than the platforms!
This particular day, as I crowded onto a train where there are no more
seats, this was happening:
I want your opinion! Would you find that fun or frustrating? Would you be happy and enjoy or move to a different car? And, I’d love to know what you thought I did?
If you choose to give your opinion you agree to:
Sharing your point of view in a collaborative manner that does not attack others’ opinions.
Not “jumping on” someone in the stream because you disagree with their opinion.
Sharing in the spirit of sharing! This isn’t about agreement or disagreement, just a safe place to share opinions!
If you have self-worth you can listen to criticism, hear it, and decide. If you have self-worth you can hear criticism, even when givenin a degradingway, and that opinion doesn’t define you.
·It doesn’t beat you up inside
·Or keep you awake at night
·Nor does it make you second-guess yourself
Criticism is everywhere. Family, friends, colleagues…even with the “best intentions” can be critical. And as you go and grow, and step into your unlimited space and potential, critics appear everywhere. Becoming visible, admired, and successful will bring them out. But criticism doesn’t shake your self-worth. If it’s valid you make adjustments and move on. If not, you say thank you and you let it go.
One of the most powerful things to work on in developing self-worth, is
