by Ann Evanston | Dec 26, 2017 | Mindsets
When I recently was encouraged to work with more joy, I truly listened and began to explore what that means. See, I am not sure I experience joy, based on what I know it to be. I experience peace and contentment….but joy?
With a psychology background, I have understood that happiness and joy cultivate in very different ways. Psychologies UK states: “Joy and happiness are wonderful feelings to experience, but are very different. Joy is more consistent and is cultivated internally. It comes when you make peace with who you are, why you are and how you are, whereas happiness tends to be externally triggered and is based on other people, things, places, thoughts and events.”
Psychology Today shares further: “Joy comes when you make peace with who you are, where you are, why you are, and who you are not with. When you need nothing more than your truth and the love of a good God to bring peace, then you have settled into the abiding joy that is not rocked by relationships. It’s not rocked by anything…It’s a spiritual quality that is internal.”
Since I believe this to be what joy is, I challenged myself to think about a time I have experienced joy in its truest form, regardless of an external experience. That’s hard! I think I experience overwhelming happiness, euphoria, in relationships or situations that I am in. I have probably had moments of pure joy.
If I am honest, I am too in my head…doing. Joy requires being (which is how this whole thing started, I asked a Champion Circle I lead about being! Dammit! LOL)
Then I started to think about people I know who live in joy. There are things that bring them happiness, but nothing brings them joy. That’s just it, they live in joy (I will share an example soon). So I live in peace. I live in contentment. Now I am learning to live in joy.
Did I live in joy as I wrote this? What do you think?
I promise to share more.
by Ann Evanston | Dec 21, 2017 | Energy
One would assume that because we are women that we just have feminine energy. What is feminine energy? When looking at feminine energy, there are characteristics we can use to describe it. When these are projected correctly they create feminine energy.
Here is what is important to remember. As a woman, this isn’t about it being feminine because you possess it. It’s about understanding that feminine energy creates a feeling. What do people feel? Well, a participant in a class said it well: “it’s like a warm hug.”
Yes! Feminine energy creates warmth, safety, like-ability. It is loving and sensual. It comforts us.
Just a few of these characteristics are:
👉🏼Forgiving: the ability to let it go, release judgement and allow others to have their imperfection. Accepting of your own imperfections.
👉🏼Appreciating: showing others why they add value, celebrating success, ability to love and appreciate self, not just others.
👉🏼Intuition: trusting what you feel, expressing it in a valued way. Checking in with it in any situation.
These are just a few. I could write for days about them! The understanding is when is this energy needed? Do I realize how to balance it with masculine energies? Am I able to tap in a shift as needed?
Leaning too masculine or too feminine can hurt our ability to be influential. It can also hurt out personal relationships we hold dear.
by Ann Evanston | Dec 20, 2017 | Leadership, Personal Power
I love teaching people about authentic influential leadership. Teaching them that being authentic is about being YOU all the time. We trust and like people who are real. There are those that try and “act” a certain way…one they think is right. Somehow we always see through those people. Even if we cannot put our finger on it, there is just something about them that we don’t trust.
One night, after facilitating, I head to the bar. (Of course if you know me!) There were women next to me have a martini and Manhattan. I ordered a Manhattan too (it looked good) and started writing a few blogs.
About 20 minutes in I heard their conversation and started eavesdropping. And then I had to tell them I was! I said: “I was totally eavesdropping and I loved what you said. I teach teach authentic leadership and what you just said is SO what I teach! Thank you, you made my day.”
Here is what she shared with her colleague:
“I trust her and like working with her leadership style. I think it’s because she’s real. She is exactly the same no matter where I see her, or what I work on with her. But I don’t trust him. It’s like sometimes he is this (holds her hand up palm facing forward) and then other times he is this. (Turns her held up hand 180 degrees so the back is facing forward.)
People see through the latter leader, they feel it. They are unsure of you leading them. So be true to you, lead with heart and conviction!
by Ann Evanston | Dec 19, 2017 | Mindsets
While going through security to catch a flight to Seattle, we were past the TSA check of identification and proceeding to the equipment “detectors.” We were single file at first, but it opens into two lanes to take of your shoes for the conveyor belt.
I noticed that we had really slowed down, and looked up. No one was parting and going to the second lane. And (of course) I was thinking about speaking up. Just as I opened my mouth, a TSA jumped in and got people moving. I laughed and said: “whew, I was just getting ready to say something and you know if I did someone would have given me a dirty look or thought I was a bitch.”
Both women in front and behind me laughed, and struck up the conversation about how if a man does it he’s a “great leader,” or so “assertive.”
Which is why many women never speak up. Their mindset about bitch, and being called one is so negative. Even hurtful.
We need to change that mindset. Own what we say. Smile non-aggressively at the person who questions our comment. A change that would to be positive.
Thank you, yes I am a women who knows her mind.
by Ann Evanston | Dec 16, 2017 | Self-worth
When looking for more love in our lives we have to pay attention to what we project to attract it. I meet women who say they REALLY want a loving man like I have. They say they are ready. That they have so much to offer.
And then you observe what they project.
👉🏼They might talk about how every good man is taken, or how they only seem to meet “jerks”.
👉🏼Or maybe on social media they continually post about how much they hate their job and want to quit.
👉🏼 SoMe even share with friends and coworkers how unhealthy and unhappy they are.
👉🏼Others bitch about their weight or aging.
👉🏼Then there is that tendency to belittle themselves: not that smart, not that pretty….
None of these project that you are love. That you desire love of yourself. These things even attract exactly what they aren’t looking for. I watch one woman on Facebook do these kinds of posts several times a day. Recently, she actually even posted she wants lasting love but cannot find a great guy, and not sure where to look.
It’s time to look within. To project love….of yourself.
