by Ann Evanston | Nov 12, 2017 | Influence Factor, Relationship
This week while facilitating, a participant said: “ this course is just reminding me to be a better human.”
I loved that answer. Because deep down, I hope my work makes people better. I hope that people see that they have the potential to smile, make eye contact and just brightness someone else’s life.
I actually shared an example of that in this class as well. I said there are times when I go in the organizations to present and walk in the hallways and no one looks up, makes eye contact, and smiles. I related that example to being influential. What if a month from now you need buy in on an idea, and I’m the person that walks in to that meeting?
At the end of the program a woman was sure that that was one of her biggest takeaways. She said: “I need to look up make eye contact and smile more.“
I push participants to think about how they’re building a nurturing relationships. I asked them to think about how they can spend a percentage of their day doing just that. After one 15 minute break, another came back and said: “I just spent my break nurturing relationships. I talked to three people and I know I made a difference.“
These are things I’m talking about. Relationships matter.
by Ann Evanston | Sep 13, 2017 | Influence Factor
I believe that in order to have the life you desire, you must leave yourself to become better than yourself. Being influential, more loving, powerful, standing in your self-worth, even trusting that the real you is the one who needs to show up in every situation requires the ability to let go of the old you.
There are some that would argue you need to leave past relationships to change that you are. I’m not going to go that far! I do think though you need to leave you behind. What do I mean by that?
I mean that you need to let go of
🏼old issues,
🏼fights that you’re hanging onto,
🏼resentment you have from people who betrayed you,
🏼guilt that you might be feeling,
🏼loves lost.
You have to let go of patterns that you were hanging onto. You have to leave that you behind that keeps loading on the baggage –it’s time to get rid of it.
Living your best life requires it. Being truly authentic in every situation will demand it.
It is entirely up to you.
by Ann Evanston | Aug 9, 2017 | Influence Factor
In my programs on becoming influential, I make a distinction between influence strategy, and negotiation. In America, we are quite comfortable with the idea of negotiation, even in the workplace. Negotiation is where you go in willing to give up certain things in order to reach a middle ground so that you can move forward with some type of solution. Often with negotiation, if the apposing person or group is not interested in meeting you in the middle, you walk away feeling it was a loss.
Influence is the strategy of creating buy-in. Influence is about taking steps towards having people lean in, say yes to your idea or solution, and want to be a part of achieving it.
[Tweet “Influence strategy and negotiation are 2 different things!”]
More often, negotiation is an event: we sit down at the table, we try to make it work, and if it doesn’t we move on. Influence is a process. It is about knowing ultimately your desired outcome, and then following the process towards planning small wins in order to eventually get people in agreement with making that desired outcome happen. Influence is for when you have more time. Negotiation is for when you have less.
Do you influence others to lean in and say yes?
by Ann Evanston | Aug 4, 2017 | Influence Factor, Speaking Strategy
I love telling stories and teaching others how to be great storytellers. It is an outstanding way to become more influential. Stories make us think and feel. Stories place us into soul and out of our ego.
Storytellers are relate-able and like-able. Storytellers inspire and influence. Storytellers our leaders. And storytellers know how to move people, create change, and make a lasting impact.
There is a simple 4 part method I teach for writing the kind of story that does that for those for listening, or read it…the audience. Because ultimately telling a story is about them….not you. This will support you in crafting that.
Here it is:
1-What do you want them to know. This is basically the situation. What is important is the right amount of detail to create a sensory experience. Too often new storytellers give WAY TO MUCH DETAIL. Detail that doesn’t create a sensory experience. Sensory experiences allow the audience to see their lives, or someone they know in the story.
You want your details to connect to our senses: what is the scene? Can we smell or taste anything? Is there something about the space that creates energy, positive or negative? Are there others involved? Are you doing something we need to understand high level context?
2-What do you want them to feel? Inspirational stories connect us emotionally…positive and negative. Without knowing how you want the audience to feel, you will continue to give more detail of your experience versus creating emotional vulnerability.
3-What do you want them to believe? Belief is about connecting the audience to the deeper meaning of telling your story. Are your values in question? Is there a struggle we can consider? What is your internal dialogue? Are there choices you are debating?
4-What is the point? Ultimately, for a story to inspire and motivate, to heal and transform, there must be a relate-able “wrap up.” What was your lesson? What do you want them to know? What can others do if they understand and empathize? How can they grow as a result of your story.
[Tweet “Influential people learn the craft of telling powerful stories!”]
When you get ready to prepare a story, think about these four things. Possibly even journal on them. These method could go in order, more often they are woven throughout the story. Start practicing this as you speak and write stories and you will see how others are moved and inspired!
by Ann Evanston | Jul 28, 2017 | Influence Factor, Relationship
Today I am teaching a class on influence. I love working with people who are open and interested to learning new things. I often tell them “that influence is more about building relationships than anything.”
As I go through my Influence model, faces even get quiet. (Yes, faces!) and as I ask, someone always says: “so you are saying if I haven’t built and nurtured relationships, I cannot influence someone at work?”
Yes! Well, there are strategies you can deploy, but if you have taken the time to build relationships, to build rapport, to put into their emotional bank account, it is much easier.
Your goal is to spend about 20% of your time building and nurturing relationships to become more influential.
by Ann Evanston | Jul 27, 2017 | Influence Factor, Relationship
One of the things I love teaching my clients is the importance of balancing energies. In particular, I love working with women on how to balance feminine and masculine energy’s. The most important thing is to understand what the word “balance” really means.
Balance isn’t about equality. Balance is about knowing what is needed in a specific moment or situation, and being able to energetically shift your energy to what’s appropriate in that situation.
[Tweet “Make a conscious choice about energy in a situation”]
Too often our energy is reactive, and often isn’t the best energy for that situation. Are you able to consciously pause for a moment and assess what’s happening, and realize whether you need more feminine energies? Or more masculine energy’s? Which are best for the situation present?
Interestingly, both men and women who have learned how to do this have greater success in their careers. In addition research shows that they’re more hardly admired and respected as leaders.
