by Ann Evanston | Feb 21, 2018 | Personal Power
I was watching a reality “singing competition” show, I wrote the now title of this blog. I was suddenly reflecting about women I have worked with over the years. An amazing singer on the show, who has been a back up vocalist for some of the best female artists in the world, was on the show. Her voice was amazing. Her ability to emote was fabulous. Her style and stage presence drew you win.
She had everything to be the star of her life. To live fully connected in her self love. To exercise that in everything that she is and does.
She even made it to the season finale. She came out singing to really hard songs, from powerhouse female artists. (Yes, I’m talking like Whitney Houston hard! LOL)
And that’s when I realized that she was still the back up singer in her life.
She didn’t make them her own. She sang a cover. It was very karaoke. Beautiful voice yes. Superstar no.
And she didn’t win. She did not achieve her dream. I often see women become back up singers in their life. They try so hard to be what someone else is. Because they believe if they could be like that, they will have what they want. They will be happy. Full. Content.
Ultimately, you must be the lead singer in your life. You must be what you are meant to be not somebody else’s version.
by Ann Evanston | Feb 13, 2018 | Personal Power
I have learned that when I am emotionally raw the best thing I can do is to feel what I am feeling in healthy and loving ways. Often, because women are told they are too emotional, we stuff what we are feeling. It’s like we push it down as far as we can and put a lid on it. Over time, we completely lose our heart. We end up all in our head and unaware of what we’re feeling anymore.
When you are emotionally raw it’s an opportunity to learn how to be better in touch with your heart, soul and spirit. I am emotionally raw after my Women’s Self-Love Evolution Retreat. I hold this huge container for women to learn about themselves and at the end of it my emotional exhaustion is overwhelming.
And when I am like that, I am going to allow myself to feel it. It’s easy to want to get rid of it, stuff it, because it is SO overwhelming. There’s a difference between expressing it in an overly emotional way and feeling what you’re feeling. That’s where I go- the latter. By feeling what you’re feeling you are better able to increase the connection to your heart. By feeling what you’re feeling you are better able to tap into your own joy. By feeling what you’re feeling you’re able to create an expression of self love.
By feeling, I find that my expression is appropriate. Sometime we cannot be alone when it’s happening! But if I try and control it, others see a wreck. Or someone on guard. Or even an angry woman.
by Ann Evanston | Jan 22, 2018 | Personal Power, Visibility
A courageous woman isn’t one that has overcome her fears. She isn’t courageous because she has overcome them, she is courageous because she IS fearful. Sometimes scared shitless!
And she is willing to try.
She is still giving the very best she can. Willing to be vulnerable, imperfect, even wrong.
A courageous women is afraid. She is fearful others will disapprove. Even dislike her. Courage is a sense of “fearlessness”….that willingness to push through all those fears.
She speaks up anyway. She goes for it anyway.
And through all that fear she comes out stronger, happier, fulfilled. More courageous.
by Ann Evanston | Jan 10, 2018 | Personal Power
I woke in the middle of the night and my brain said: “Holy cow you are going to be 50. How the fuck did that happen?”
I laid there in the bed wide-awake thinking about where 50 years of gone. I cannot complain about my life. I chose many years ago to never live with regret. To always move forward with passion and purpose.
Then I started to think about the next fifty years. Yes, I believe I’ve got another 50 in me! Here is what I absolutely know about how I will live these next several decades:
👉🏼I will live boldly and unapologetically.
👉🏼I will show the world that sexy comes in all shapes and sizes.
👉🏼I will hide less and be seen more.
👉🏼I will have more sex than I already do have!
👉🏼I will inspire more women to live their lives fully and with deep expression and love.
👉🏼I will practice ease and joy every day.
👉🏼I will earn by doing things I truly love.
👉🏼I will role model what deep, beautiful, love looks like.
OK, I could go on and on! Lying there I realized how excited I am about this next passage in life. That’s an exciting feeling at 50. So here goes, it starts today! Yes I am 50 right now!
by Ann Evanston | Dec 20, 2017 | Leadership, Personal Power
I love teaching people about authentic influential leadership. Teaching them that being authentic is about being YOU all the time. We trust and like people who are real. There are those that try and “act” a certain way…one they think is right. Somehow we always see through those people. Even if we cannot put our finger on it, there is just something about them that we don’t trust.
One night, after facilitating, I head to the bar. (Of course if you know me!) There were women next to me have a martini and Manhattan. I ordered a Manhattan too (it looked good) and started writing a few blogs.
About 20 minutes in I heard their conversation and started eavesdropping. And then I had to tell them I was! I said: “I was totally eavesdropping and I loved what you said. I teach teach authentic leadership and what you just said is SO what I teach! Thank you, you made my day.”
Here is what she shared with her colleague:
“I trust her and like working with her leadership style. I think it’s because she’s real. She is exactly the same no matter where I see her, or what I work on with her. But I don’t trust him. It’s like sometimes he is this (holds her hand up palm facing forward) and then other times he is this. (Turns her held up hand 180 degrees so the back is facing forward.)
People see through the latter leader, they feel it. They are unsure of you leading them. So be true to you, lead with heart and conviction!
by Ann Evanston | Dec 13, 2017 | Leadership, Personal Power
Many leaders struggle with letting go. Particularly tasks. Things they know how to do REALLY well. Things they think will burden others. Things they can just do “better faster quicker“ themselves.
As leaders, our responsibilities are to coach, develop, and delegate. When we don’t we send messages to those we lead. That we don’t trust. That we are unsure. That we like doing versus leading.
Coaching, developing, and delegating are our primary responsibilities as a leader. And doing that requires we let go. Not only of the tasks, but also of our mindsets that “they aren’t ready”. Or they already have “too much to do.”
It also requires that we believe they can. And that we trust they can.
