by Ann Evanston | Dec 3, 2017 | Relationship
It’s easy to end a professional relationship when it’s no longer on good terms. But what about a professional relationship when you’ve been on great terms? Often, you just know in your heart and mind it’s time to move on. It’s not because you dislike people, or the work. It’s just time.
When you enjoy the relationships, it’s important to make smart choices when moving on. We’ve all heard the phrase “don’t burn the bridge.“ and I think most of us get that. The hard part is dealing with our emotions. We’ve grown to like and care about people. So as much as our spirit knows it’s right, our heart is saddened by the loss that is happening.
This is when it’s most important to communicate what you’re doing, and stay fully engaged until you leave. Participate. Laugh and love with everyone in the group you’re leaving. Role model what you’ve been when you were fully engaged and weren’t intending to leave. Why?
You keep integrity and respect aligned. You show others that you were worth every moment. You keep relationships healthy even when it’s time to move on. And if you ever need to come back, you’re always welcomed with open arms.
Besides, it’s awful to just die off and slither away.
Yes, you might still be sad, but you will be happy and proud of how you left
by Ann Evanston | Nov 26, 2017 | Intimacy, Relationship
Receiving unconditional love is a rare and precious thing. The realization of having it in my life has been so gratifying.
My husband loves me no matter what. He is my number one fan, and biggest champion. He believes I can do anything, and supports the things that I want to do 100%. His love goes deeper than that though.
He loves me when I’m dressed up and looking fabulous.
He loves me when I haven’t showered for three days!
He loves me whether I’m 150 pounds, 120 pounds.
He loves me with make up on, he loves me with make up off and he thinks I’m beautiful either way.
He’s loves me when I cook dinner, and he loves me when I say I’m not in the mood for cooking.
The love is unconditional.
Having unconditional love from someone else requires that your first unconditionally love yourself. I even went through this with my husband; he couldn’t love me that deeply when I was blocking it with my own self hate.
Where do you need to love yourself more so that you can receive the love you want?
by Ann Evanston | Nov 12, 2017 | Influence Factor, Relationship
This week while facilitating, a participant said: “ this course is just reminding me to be a better human.”
I loved that answer. Because deep down, I hope my work makes people better. I hope that people see that they have the potential to smile, make eye contact and just brightness someone else’s life.
I actually shared an example of that in this class as well. I said there are times when I go in the organizations to present and walk in the hallways and no one looks up, makes eye contact, and smiles. I related that example to being influential. What if a month from now you need buy in on an idea, and I’m the person that walks in to that meeting?
At the end of the program a woman was sure that that was one of her biggest takeaways. She said: “I need to look up make eye contact and smile more.“
I push participants to think about how they’re building a nurturing relationships. I asked them to think about how they can spend a percentage of their day doing just that. After one 15 minute break, another came back and said: “I just spent my break nurturing relationships. I talked to three people and I know I made a difference.“
These are things I’m talking about. Relationships matter.
by Ann Evanston | Oct 29, 2017 | Intimacy, Relationship
My husband and I have a relationship that many admire. To see us, you know we are deeply, and intimately in love. You know I am “Bonnie” to his “Clyde.” We are often told by people who see many couples that we are they one they appreciate the most. Simply because of how we treat each other. (Yes, sad to hear stories of lack of love and respect in public!)
We aren’t perfect! That’s not real. We fight. Like ugly when it happens. And in 20 years we have had low, low times of hurt.
We believe in commitment and working through everything. And we know one thing to be true to have an intimate, deep, loving relationship.
You must be vulnerable and express emotion to truly find love. You must express it ALL. You must also allow your partner the same. We truly learned how to do this at a low, low point. We had to find a safe space to ask and answer honestly. A place where we wouldn’t start fighting!
If you don’t have intimate love yet, you still have to be vulnerable enough to express love. To be love. That’s how you receive love. That’s how intimate love happens.
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by Ann Evanston | Oct 22, 2017 | Relationship
Often, when wanting a strong, loving, intimate mate, we look outward. We create that “list” of traits and characteristics they must possess. We even write out the deal breakers!
Most those things aren’t what makes a great relationship. Ok, yes, I have a deal breaker…smoking…..could NOT be with a smoker, lol! But height, education, family background – just don’t create a dream relationship.
Because having that is about you. Yes, I said it. It isn’t about finding the best partner….it is about being one. How do you show up everyday full of love, gratitude, and appreciation? How are you a better listener, cheerleader and comfort? How will you be vulnerable, open, sensual and up-level yourself?
Everyday. For your relationship.
When you lead what you want, you get it. You attract someone who does the same for you.
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by Ann Evanston | Oct 21, 2017 | Relationship, Self-worth
The peaceful protest #MeToo has been quite eye opening, and for me, so sad. I knew sexual abuse was a dark secret in our country, but harassment? This much? Horrible.
It has been beautiful to see women have a voice, not be afraid to speak up and share: “yes, me too. It happened to me.” Whether quietly or loudly.
It is connecting heart strings that strengthen us as women. Collectively.
While teaching one of my Influential Voice courses during this time, it came up in class. Many participants felt the same way. Then a gentleman in the program said: “it has created an awareness for me too and things I might say that I no longer want to.”
I asked if he’d share.
“I don’t think I have harassed a woman, but I might have said things that could be offensive. For example, I caught myself starting to say: ‘that’s not ladylike.’”
This led to a discussion of what we may say to men too. Inspiring.
How powerful if one simple movement moves even one person to changing how they speak to women.
