by Ann Evanston | Oct 18, 2017 | Energy, Personal Power, Relationship
It seems more and more people say: “I am an introvert.”
“I am such an introvert I don’t like talking to people.”
“Oh Ann, I could never speak in front of groups, I am too introverted.”
Introversion was originally just the way a person re-energized. It meant that you were best energized when alone, in a quiet space. Extroverts are energized by being around people, even if not talking.
I am an introvert. After speaking, I need alone time to re-energize.
These days it seems like anyone who struggles with social engagement is introverted. I believe that many people just haven’t learned good social interaction. We are too reliant on our IM, PM, email, social media to engage others. We no longer know how to do that.
But that isn’t introversion.
by Ann Evanston | Oct 15, 2017 | Relationship
Thousands of people have lost their homes to massive fires in the Napa and Sonoma counties. Mother nature takes homes devastatingly all the time. Hurricanes are another example.
It’s interesting when an entire neighborhood is wiped out how quickly our human nature is to help in any way we can. Places to stay, supplies, money, even rentals long term, and rebuilding when it’s needed. We rally as group when entire neighborhoods lose everything. It’s quite powerful to watch.
Interestingly, almost 400,000 homes are lost to fires in the USA every year. Families displaced, lost, and figuring out what to do next. Very few rally. So few show up with places to stay, supplies, money, or helping to rebuild when it’s needed.
As someone who’s been through it, I know. I hope when extreme devastation isn’t present we might think more about how we can reach out to help someone individually. To pay attention to the 5 mile radius that is our “hood.“ To be willing to help individual families and the devastation they might be going through. That would make the world even more powerful.
by Ann Evanston | Oct 13, 2017 | Relationship
I’m sure it’s making world news regarding the Napa and Sonoma firestorms. I live very close to where all of this is happening, and my husband and I have deep relationships threaded throughout the entire area. We have built and nurtured them over 20 years.
Unless you are here, I don’t know that the devastation can fully be understood. But for many people, including us, there is a deep sadness based on what’s happening.
Many people are sad because they have memories that were created here. People have met the love of their lives in the wine country, partied like rock stars, many were proposed to, or had the bachelor and bachelorette parties there, even weddings and renewal vows.
My husband and I have reclaimed our love many times in this part of the world. So I understand other peoples sadness in seeing a winery burn down or the vineyards gone. Because with that comes the many memories that are happy and positive for people.
As I write this, one of our most favorite romantic places to stay is in the path of fire.
And I am not discounting the devastation that thousands and thousands of people are having. I’m just expressing what you might see from others.
We personally have friends whose dreams we’ve watched come to life over the last 20 years. It is a place where those kind of things happen all the time.
This tiny part of the world is special for many, and we are grieving too.
by Ann Evanston | Oct 8, 2017 | Relationship
Last night my husband and I watched the first episode of the second season of “This is Us.” A part of the story line was about adopting. As it unfolded, his wife recommended that they adopt unwanted teenagers in their community versus a newborn baby from another country.
This made me extremely emotional. I am a big believer that we cannot live our best life with any regrets, and part of being able to do that is to come to peace with decisions that are made.
There is only one time in my life where I felt like a “higher power” spoke to me. That voice said that I was meant to adopt unwanted teenagers. For reasons that don’t really matter to the story, that never happened. And I thought I was at peace with the decision.
Last nights episode made me extremely emotional. Which told me that I have a regret I need to work through. I have to become at peace with the decision that has been made. To be able to do this, I have to look at my purpose, vision, and values. I have to see how decisions I have made have served me greatly.
I look forward as the season unfolds and how I heal myself.
by Ann Evanston | Sep 10, 2017 | Relationship
Reaching out is one of the most powerful things that you can do. Reach out to an old friend. Reach out to someone you met at a conference. Reach out to someone you’re connected to on social media.
Yes, send them an email, a text message, a private message, or call them! Yes, I can hear that voice in your head right now: “But Ann, I haven’t touched base with some of these people in forever… how embarrassing would that be?”
“Worse yet, what if they don’t respond back?”
Oh my, what we can do to ourselves to stop creating connections and relationships with others! The most amazing thing if you choose to reach out? And they do respond? You will actually hear how much you mean to other people even when you’re not constantly chatting with them!
I recently reached out to a woman who saw me speak at a conference. When I speak my goal is to always stay for the conference and be a part of the audience. It helps me to create connections with more people. This woman found me on social media, and we’ve been “connected” but not in touch.
[Tweet “Reach out to someone you haven’t connected with, it’s so worthwhile!”]
We had a phone call and it was phenomenal. Although not what I was expecting, she let me know all those years ago that she never forgot me because of how I treated her with simple kindness and respect.
Now we are more deeply connected almost ten years later. And I feel inspired! If you create genuine connections with people, reaching out in simple ways is super easy to do. And oh so worthwhile.
by Ann Evanston | Sep 3, 2017 | Relationship
Fighting in a partner relationship is bound to occur. In healthy, great relationships, I believe the “blowout fights” are few and far between. I believe that because it’s true for my healthy relationship! A tiff is different then a fight and if you’re in a relationship I’m sure you get what I mean!
When couples fight, it is so important that you know how to fight fairly. When we have fights, my husband always starts them. (I’m sure he’d say I always start them, LOL.) And as I escalate he doesn’t like to fight fair.
Over the years our “couples friends” have coached him on this. It’s unfair to tell me the relationship is over when we fight. And he has practiced not doing that. The funny thing is? He can find a new way to fight unfairly!
I know this about him, and I realize that he can only get better if I’m willing to have a rational conversation with him after the fight. Are you able to talk with your partner about how you fight to make sure that you’re doing it in a healthy way?
