by Ann Evanston | Dec 16, 2017 | Self-worth
When looking for more love in our lives we have to pay attention to what we project to attract it. I meet women who say they REALLY want a loving man like I have. They say they are ready. That they have so much to offer.
And then you observe what they project.
👉🏼They might talk about how every good man is taken, or how they only seem to meet “jerks”.
👉🏼Or maybe on social media they continually post about how much they hate their job and want to quit.
👉🏼 SoMe even share with friends and coworkers how unhealthy and unhappy they are.
👉🏼Others bitch about their weight or aging.
👉🏼Then there is that tendency to belittle themselves: not that smart, not that pretty….
None of these project that you are love. That you desire love of yourself. These things even attract exactly what they aren’t looking for. I watch one woman on Facebook do these kinds of posts several times a day. Recently, she actually even posted she wants lasting love but cannot find a great guy, and not sure where to look.
It’s time to look within. To project love….of yourself.
by Ann Evanston | Nov 25, 2017 | Self-worth, Sexy Saturday
I love talking with women about being sensual. It amazes me how many associate sensuality with sexuality. The two are very different things. And together they are quite powerful!
Sensuality, is simply the ability to engage all of your senses. So a sensual woman understands that when she is fully present in her mind body and spirit she can connect sensually. A sensual woman realizes that to be so she must feel, touch, see, hear and smell.
It’s such a woman that can turn this on whenever she wants to. She’s consciously connected in everything she does. Sensual woman realizes that when she does turn it on the things she is doing are far more exciting and peaceful.
Yes those two things can happen in synchronicity. Because when we are, the being in what she is doing overrides any of the work. It is the way to BE in any thing. In any situation. It’s the way to have great pleasure in your life.
by Ann Evanston | Nov 4, 2017 | Self-worth
My impression is most people don’t make their beds. Do you make your bed in the morning when you get up? I do. Every single day.
I didn’t used to though. I remember when I was a teenager my Italian grandmother came for a visit. She was in my room and said: “Annie you need to make your bed.“
“Oh grandma, nobody sees it but me. Who cares if it’s made or not?“
“That’s not the point sweetheart, you don’t make your bed in case someone else sees it. You make your bed for you.“
Ever since that day I have made my bed… for me. My husband never makes the bed. When I’m gone, or when I’m home! See, I make the bed for me. That’s what self-worth is about.
Doing it for you.
I am not saying you need to make your bed every day, LOL. (Although I do think a made bed is sexy too!) But the point is important. To have strong self worth you must do things for you. Because it shows you respect you. Because it demonstrates you value you most.
There are little, easy, rewarding things you can do that demonstrates you care about you. That’s having a healthy self-worth.
[Tweet “Self-worth: it’s the little things you do for you!”]
by Ann Evanston | Oct 21, 2017 | Relationship, Self-worth
The peaceful protest #MeToo has been quite eye opening, and for me, so sad. I knew sexual abuse was a dark secret in our country, but harassment? This much? Horrible.
It has been beautiful to see women have a voice, not be afraid to speak up and share: “yes, me too. It happened to me.” Whether quietly or loudly.
It is connecting heart strings that strengthen us as women. Collectively.
While teaching one of my Influential Voice courses during this time, it came up in class. Many participants felt the same way. Then a gentleman in the program said: “it has created an awareness for me too and things I might say that I no longer want to.”
I asked if he’d share.
“I don’t think I have harassed a woman, but I might have said things that could be offensive. For example, I caught myself starting to say: ‘that’s not ladylike.’”
This led to a discussion of what we may say to men too. Inspiring.
How powerful if one simple movement moves even one person to changing how they speak to women.
by Ann Evanston | Oct 7, 2017 | Self-worth
I believe most of us have heard that constantly comparing ourselves to others can be devastating to our self-worth. It’s easy to compare your body type, how you dress, your career, your relationship, even what you choose to eat at a party with what other people do. Especially us as women, we are constantly comparing ourselves to other women.
I remember years ago when I would teach “Stress Management for Women,” I would say that it was always interesting to me when a man and a woman would walk into a large party. The man would immediately check out all the women in the room. And guess what the woman will do? Check out all the women in the room!
It’s when she’s comparing herself to them that it becomes a problem. Admiring and appreciating other women is different than comparison.
The most devastating comparison that I work to overcome regularly? Comparing my current self to my former self. We as women change over time — we evolve, we age. It’s important to be my best self now versus thinking that I need to be a version of my former self.
[Tweet “Breathe in the beauty that is you when you start comparing you to others”]
by Ann Evanston | Sep 30, 2017 | Self-worth
Paulo Coelho, author of “The Alchemist,” said: “never apologize for being yourself.” For most women I meet, in our hearts this makes perfect sense. Why would you ever apologize for being yourself? Yet, our dirty little mind can mess all of that up!
Have you ever noticed after a conversation where you were authentically you and someone disagreed that you replay it over and over again wondering what you could’ve done differently?
Or you have a fight with your lover espressing your needs, and vowed to never do what happened again?
Or maybe you get looks or comments about the way you’re dressed, and have doubts why you ever thought you could pull that off?
That is your mind apologizing for being yourself. See, you don’t have to apologize out loud. Each time your mind questions your authentic actions, words, and style it is apologizing for you. And that just wears away at your ability to truly be you all the time.
So in becoming unapologetically yourself you have to do some “minds” work. It’s time to stop that stream of thought that does the apologizing for you. Are you ready to make those changes?
