by Ann Evanston | Jun 6, 2017 | Mental Mind Shifts, Self-worth, Uncategorized
Bragging. That word gets such a strong reaction from many women I know. Somehow it has become bad to brag….especially when I speak with women. Ok, ok, I know, the definition of the word doesn’t seem positive. At the same time, the importance of doing what the word is asking of us is very important for our success and career goals.
I was once teaching a women’s conference where participants were asked to share one personal and one professional achievement. Many women struggled, the most common achievement was the same, safe wheel house. My kids, my degree. ( If I asked, could you brag about something not related to your kids or schooling?)
One woman actually said she could not do the activity. When encouraged, she started to cry.
Both are examples of having a negative mindset about self-promotion…..bragging.
It’s time to change our mindset about bragging. Why?
🏼 you cannot assume people know
🏼 you want people to be aware of your achievements and accomplishments
🏼 just putting your head down hoping to be recognized won’t work long term
🏼 by sharing you attract more opportunity and successes in you life and career
[Tweet “Own your accomplishments! Speak up and share.”]
So how can you embrace bragging positively?
- Change the word: proclaim, proud, speak up, sell (oh that one scares you? LOL), publicize, qualify, “own it”!
- Build self-worth: when you speak of yourself confidently, and share, others view you in high regard.
by Ann Evanston | Jun 3, 2017 | Self-worth
Can you receive a compliment? I mean, truly and deeply receive a compliment. Absorb it. Feel it. Most women, if truthful, struggle with this. I find there are 3 signs that receiving a compliment is difficult. You immediately:
1-give a compliment back to the person.
2-say thanks almost pushing the energy back at them
3- say thank you then rationalize why it really isn’t true…you say: “this old thing?” Or, “I could loose some weight.” Or “I couldn’t have don’t it without.” You get it!
Saying thank you and truly accepting and receiving a compliment requires a pause. It’s a pause to deeply hear what they said. To look into their eyes. Breathe and take it in. And after you do that simply, and beautifully say thank you.
This is easy to do as you build you self-worth, harder if you struggle with that value. Keep trying it though. Start with receiving compliments from yourself. Practice the “I like you” technique from my book.
by Ann Evanston | May 25, 2017 | Indulgent Woman, Self-worth
Some days all I do is cry. I’m crying because I’m scared. Happy. Sad. Angry. Frustrated. In love. Hurt. Elated. Weary. Energized. I cry watching TV. (Yes, even commercials.)
On those days I just keep indulging in the tears. And that’s ok. Some days it’s exactly what I need.
Being able to emotionally connect and not feel guilty is so powerful for us as women. Too often we hear we are too emotional so we cut off feeling. Feeling, and trusting our feelings is truly feminine power. Besides there is a difference between expressing your feelings and being “emotional.”
[Tweet “Feeling, and trusting our feelings is truly feminine energy.”]
On days I cry, I may look emotional on the outside. In reality, it is my way of connecting with myself and my vulnerability. It is the energetic expression of my feminine energy. I am feeling. I am being that present in the moment.
by Ann Evanston | May 15, 2017 | Mental Mind Shifts, Self-worth
I often find that more of us are afraid of success over failure. Come on, face it! We fail every day! You say you will exercise today…you don’t. Or finish that project….you don’t. The list goes on and on! We fail and then we get up the next day, put those big girl boots on and try again. We fail at big things and little things… All. The. Time. We aren’t afraid. It’s part of life.
Fear of success is more common.
With success comes things that scare us.
🏼Like being SEEN.
🏼Like people who DISAGREE.
🏼Like not being LIKED.
🏼Like those NAYSAYERS
🏼Like TROLLS AND HORRIBLE PEOPLE
[Tweet “We often fear success because of the things that come with it.”]
If you stay safe, where you are:
SEEN but not really;
In DISAGREEMENT but still consensus;
LIKED;
LIKED;
With LIKE minded people all the time….
You will struggle to have the success you desire in your life, love, career. Success means understanding those risks. If you have succeeded you know it’s worth it.
by Ann Evanston | May 6, 2017 | Self-worth
Being me. Loving me, embracing me. Learning that the heart of who I am is good. That I was put here to be the best ME I can be. To embrace why I am the way I am. To letting go of others expectations of how, or who, I “should” be. To not compare myself to others….even Earl!
Yes, even my husband! Everywhere we go everyone says: “Earl is so sweet, he’s so sweet. He’s just such a sweet guy.”
At times my “blabber brain” starts! You know the voice…the one in you head. It never seems to stop. I can hear that “blabber brain” voice: “Why don’t people think I am sweet?”
Shut up voice.
Oh, But that’s not so easy. How many of you have heard you must stop your negative self talk, turn off the inner critic? Heck I once believed that too. We know now that by 30 years of age, the brain isn’t changing that dramatically unless something dramatic happens.
“You mean I will always be a self-fucking critic Ann?”
Yep. Me too.
BUT, I do not have to live by it. Neither do you.
You get it- some days it is so freakin’ hard! There are just days where others quietly challenge who you are. And the VOICE shows up again. And blabber brain just gets so damn loud.
And those are the days I am least happy. Least fulfilled. Least satisfied.
You feel it too.
See, I can make different choices even when the VOICE tests me. Critiques me. Creates self doubt. That’s why in my programs for women, especially retreat, I teach my “Warrior Method” for getting what you desire in life, while being you. Sweet isn’t me…it’s Earl, and I love that I’m spicy! The process I use personally, and teach other women, allows me to choose a best path. Even when my inner critic shows up, as it undoubtedly will. Then I can acknowledge its presence, and still become.
[Tweet “Self-worth comes from embracing the heart of YOU.”]
Self-Worth comes from being able to get through being rattled. To find and embrace the heart of YOU…to indulge in what you know is great about you…no matter what they say. No matter what your brain says.
by Ann Evanston | May 3, 2017 | Self-worth
Stepping into your personal power is about being able to own what you do and say. A common area where women give up that assertive strength is when there’s a problem. When someone complains about what we do or said, we tend to want to explain why we said it or did it ! Therein lies the challenge.
It makes sense initially to want to explain WHY. Yet, it becomes a place where we can sound like we are defensive and unable to own our part of what happened. It begins to sound like we don’t care about the feedback.
The more we explain our actions, the more we lose our personal power.
[Tweet “You own your power when you just say “thank-you.””]
We keep our power when we can say: “thank you for the feedback.” We keep our power when we can say: “let me fix it.” No explanations….because they sound like excuses.
We keep our power when we honor that someone else has every right to think what we said or did was wrong. We own our voice when we no longer have to defend what we did.
